I'm glad that I'm able to make a difference in people's life by parting my knowledge and/or skills, sharing my life experience or simply by my own principles in life. However, I'm sad to say that even I may be lost at times and are unable to follow what I preach.
Well after my last blog entry, I received numerous well wishes and comments. "Thanks for flooding my mailbox people." Indeed, I do know that it is a little late for my revelation but its better late than never is it not? I am more cheerful now and am more focused than before on the path which I have chosen to embark.
Sad to say, in some ways my perseverance on the relationship has done me more harm than good. To make matters worse, I even feel that Wendy doesn't even deserve me at all. I believe strongly that Wendy and I are destined for great things. Logically, when you put two great entities together you'll get a powerful force not to be reckoned with. Somewhat though the mass amount of energy produced is not the pure positive force foreseen. Instead there was a great deal of negativity found within this might. This negativity is the result of the numerous frictions and repulsions of these two powerhouses.
Sincerely, through the many similarities and our individual strengths, I could vision the wondrous future and the many great achievements that await us. However, the rift between us is really beginning to surface now. I'm starting to lose my patience and am very unhappy about how things are between us. This outlandish behavior and devotion of mine has to stop. This whole relationship has reached a point of to which I feel that we are doing more harm to each other than good.
I am sensitive by nature and can be particularly fragile at times. I can be hurt easily by what Wendy says and she knows that so well. Recently she said some things about me which reflects on what kind of person I am to her. I am very hurt and am now totally shattered at the very thought of what she perceives me to be. As many would know, it takes two hands to clap for anything that involves more than one person to complete, thus I feel that it is very unfair that all the blame should fall upon me. Ironically, I still love her for who she is and still want to believe that all this is due to the stress that is tormenting her.
No matter what, I am glad that I'm finally able to see more clearly as more light fills the dark tunnel that I'm trying to escape from. I am still in love with Wendy but I'm opening up to choices and am enjoying every bit of attention that I am receiving. I thank God for my Brothers and friends for being so supportive and encouraging. All in all, I'm finally regaining the confidence and pride of being Danny and not trying to be me.
ps: for all whom I didn't say Hi to during open house. I apologise as I really have no idea who you are or didn't see you. =]
D^Boy aka HiiRaGi
A Life dedicated to the 'F4' family, EGUES, Adorhythmatics & my Girl