Pretty much to say but not sure where should I begin or actually, should I even post it down. I think the best thing to start off with would be to make an annoucement regarding the upcoming Sakuran Development Camp which is organised by non-other than the demanding & hated... Me! Hahaha!
Things are more or less confirmed in terms of approval, thus currently the only thing left to do is to present the proposal to Ota Sensei in person and to get rooms for the 3 days, 2 nights camp. For those who have been to the camps I've organised before, you know pretty much what to expect while for those who had not, it would be a good learning experience.
Hopefully, the current members will learn much about cohesiveness and commitment. Another important lesson which I hope they'll learn about is responsibilty. Technically, I feel that Sakuran Club lacks that the most. I really pray that with this camp, I would be able to instill the right mind-set for the current members.
After all that has been said, I would like to invite Alumnis' who are interested in the camp to contact me personally to register for it and help share their experiences and make this a camp a memorable and fun one for all.
Whatever written next is strictly how I feel and is in no way the 'truth' in regards to any person mentioned.
The next thing is that I've finally broken free from the chains which I've tied myself to. There is a limit to everything and I'm out of it at this point of time. The difference between plain devotion and being dumb is just a very thin line and sincerely, I'm DUMB!
I can't get myself to believe on the belief that she still loves me. I truely feel that she doesn't deserve someone of my calibre. I'm not saying that I'm much better but just that she doesn't see the beauty in me and appreciate the many things I have to offer.
Love is suppose to be filled with happiness and mutual support but all this while after the break-up, it is nothing more than pure torment. I can't love someone and 'lie' about that she feels the same way all my life. I need an affirmation of emotions and feelings felt are mutual, if not sooner or later I will break; Sadly, that is how I feel right now.
After Valentines' & Chinese New Year, I really could feel that I'm not a person of any significance to her in any other way then her school work. I'm fine with not meeting up as I know she is really busy but no calls, not even messages of friendly greetings. Moreover, with her 'busy' schedule, she still have time for her other friends.
That's it! She has lost me to the hatred and disgust that has beeen building up since after Christmas. What ever that I do and the changes I had made is never good enough and she had not been there for me when I needed her the most. Indeed, we're not suppose to expect so much out of a friend but I thought we were more than that... Not a couple but maybe there...
My selfless sacrifices are nothing to her... maybe I'm not giving her what she really wants... I do not blame her for anything at all but things have come to an end. I'll keep my promise to help her through her degree but after that... Nevertheless, it should not matter since I'm just a tool.
"It takes two hands to clap. I've only my left, seen my right?"