I'm done... I'm all negativity... Its the medication's side effect... it brings out the depression in me and I've plenty of that now... I wanna LET GO! I wanna SCREAM!! I wanna DIE ALONE!!!
Life is of no meaning... I finally said it to her, "I see the world not in colors but that of black and white... Grayscale to be exact..." "I think of only 2 things everyday; How are you today? When is it that you'll think of me?"
She is only irritated and frustrated with my questions and negativity... Was I like that before? Not at all... I was so bright and sunny just like my name but now I've lost that heat and glare that burns everyone that looks directly at me... Gone are the optimistic and cheerful antics of mine...
Is there anything wrong with wanting to know some answers or am I just asking too much since she has said long ago we should just be normal friends... I know I can't... I tried but I can't... Forgive me but I can't stop loving her and am not in any way contented with the present state of LIfe.
D^Boy aka HiiRaGi
A Life dedicated to the 'F4' family, EGUES, Adorhythmatics & my Girl